How?

How does a grown man rip a 12 1/2 inch slit in his blue jeans by the simple act of getting into the driver's seat of his car after church? I was with him and can attest to the fact Jimmy wasn't doing back flips in the lawn, rescuing a child about to be hit by a car, or any other jean-splitting activity. He was easing himself up into the SUV as he's done a thousand times before.

I heard the rrrrrrrrrrrrip but didn't know what had torn till he pointed to his crotch revealing the damage. "Aren't those the $80 jeans you got for $20?" I asked in disbelief. "Yep and I'm glad they chose to tear now and not in church or out on a photo shoot" he replied still assessing the damage.

Driving out of the parking lot, we inspected the foot-long tear as if he'd narrowly escaped a crocodile attack. Then, after scrutinizing it from nearly every angle, we began to speculate the timing of this untimely event. "How would you have gotten out of church with that long tear if it had happened in there? How embarrassing would that be? Oh...wait a minute...I know... your Bible would be have been big enough to cover it. You could have walked out holding it low in both hand. Yeah, that would have saved you." I said thinking out loud.

Giggling as we contemplated every angle of this odd and potentially embarrassing incident, we eventually meandered home, changed our clothes, and headed to the grocery story for Sunday dinner supplies. Thankfully all our apparel remained quiet and intact.

This is what you might get when you buy

well-worn jeans.