Notes to Glen

Funerals serve the valuable purpose of bringing closure for surviving family and friends. Gathering loved ones together amidst a time of grief and sadness, it helps us move toward greater healing and acceptance. Unfortunately funeral ceremonies primarily revolve around adults, providing little for the children who have suffered loss as well.

With this in mind our family decided to add a children's event to the end of dad's funeral. Sparked by an idea from Calvin, my sister's six-year-old grandson, we wrote notes to dad and sent them off in balloons. Calvin's mom, Jeanna, brought a portable tank of helium and all the supplies for the little ones to write their own note.

Using a classroom off the gym, she set out the supplies so that after the dinner we could help the children write notes to their great grandpa. A funny thing happened in the process though. As we helped the kids with their notes, the adults began writing messages to dad too.

Just before launching.

Calvin (the idea man) is far left.

The launch.

God's beautiful day.

The balloons clung together until

we could no longer see them.

What a wonderful way to close a funeral. The balloon messages provided closure for both young and not-so-young. We couldn't help but smile as our notes ascended into the sky. One day we'll see dad in heaven, until then he is resting in God's arms fully healed and restored.

This little event turned out to be one of my fondest memories. Thanks Calvin for your wonderful idea!

Missing Dad

Six days after dad was put on hospice, he went home to be with the Lord. My brother, sister, and I spent the last three nights with him at my brother's home since he was so short of breath. We knew congestive heart failure was taking his health but had no idea his time was so short.

I'd spent Sunday night (the night before he died) with him and he seemed to have rallied. In fact early Monday morning he looked so good I offered him coffee and toast, which he gobbled like a starving refuge. The next morning I told my brother I knew dad needed 24-hour assistance but I hadn't done much for him that particular night. The next night proved a different story, however, when my sister called at 1am asking if she could give him more medication to help him breathe. I gave her instructions, then waited and wondered if it provided him with any relief. I assumed it had but still could not sleep. At 2am she called and told us dad had passed away. His struggle to breathe had taken its toll on his tired 86 year-old body. He could no longer take the strain and died in my brother's home with his eldest child by his side. He knew he was loved.

With the heavy news on our hearts, Jimmy, Dani, and I headed out to my brother's home in the countryside after we received the call. It was a stormy night as sheets of rain, flashes of lightening, and claps of thunder surrounded us on all sides. The 30-minute drive brought us to dad who was now at rest; a true light gone from my life and one I will not see again this side of heaven. I wasn't the only one to sense this great loss either. Just moments after our father's body was taken away my brother commented, "we have no parents", to which my sister quipped, "we're orphans!" We giggled at the time but the truth was sobering.

No amount of preparation could have prepared us for the obvious. Dad was our last parent and now we are left to carry on. Absorbing the loss of the generation before us, my brother, sister, and I huddled together like little baby birds in the days following his death. We've laughed, cried, reminisced, and praised God for the wonderful parents He's given us. To be raised in a simple, stable, fun, and funny Christian home is a treasure we each value and carefully pass on to our own families. We are grateful for our past and the parents who made it possible.

I miss you dad. Thanks for the memories!

Family First

Life can be filled with a host of many different things; friends, work, sports, and hobbies just to name a few. Lately my main focus has been targeted on getting through a busy season at work and running the 5K's that are dear to my heart. As important as all these things may be, in the end second only to God, family it top priority.

With this in mind, it's time for our family to shift priorities by putting our dad first. Just four days ago he was placed on hospice care and within 24 hours his congestive heart failure had him bedridden. He can barely breathe and needs someone at his side continually to give him medication for relief. Our family's goal is to be at his bedside at all times, so my brother, sister, and I are taking shifts to provide that care. Our presence gives dad great comfort and as difficult as it is to watch his life ebb away, honoring our father in this way is worth it. We appreciate your prayers during this time.

"Honor your father and your mother,

so that you may live long in the land

the LORD your God is giving you."

Exodus 20:12

Autism Run

FINALLY... nice weather for a 5K run. Leaving the house at 0645, our drive to the Royals Stadium sparked instant marvel at the spectacular sunrise. With the crisp fall air creating a misty fog over warmer ponds and streams, it was as if God painted the beginning of this new day just for us. Wondering how anyone could ponder the notion that creation was somehow automatic and devoid of a creator, Jimmy and I both agreed without question a beautiful horizon such as the one before us confirmed the great I AM truly does exist.

The beauty of the day was a gift to all running for Autism research. My friend and co-worker Shauna, along with her husband Steven, came along in support of our daughter Dani. We mixed and mingled before the run visiting various booths offering information on Autism and then headed out to run around the Kansas City Royals and Chiefs Arrowhead Stadiums. It was peaceful, fun, and worth every ounce of energy. I don't know how many times I asked God to bless those running in honor of Autism research and pondered how the lives of those around me have been affected by this disability.

Dani's clan

Dani by the "floating" marble baseball

Stretchin' the old bones

We're off

Slugger visits a little girl

(cont.)

Autism Run (cont.)

Slugger entertains the crowd

Royals Stadium

Done!

Resting after

A Trip with Daddy

Dani's been super interested in nail polish ever since we gave Abby her get-well nail polish and lipgloss gift set. Now, every time she and Jimmy drive past a drug store she signs "Mom" and "nail polish." She so consistent with this routine Jimmy decided to take her to Walgreens so she could get some fun colors. Colors boring ole mom doesn't wear. I thought his idea was a fabulous one, so I wished them well...my only stipulations was please...no black. Jimmy agreed and off they went to the drug store.

Dani ganders the plethora of colors.

She zeroes in on a bottle...

Cocoa Bean gets a peek at her purchase.

Selecting cool blue and refreshing green, I have to admit Dani's picks are darling. She pranced around this week with blue on for days and it's about time to dawn the green. The smallest things make her happy and these tiny purchases will give her joy for days to come.

Thank Jimmy for acting on your great idea!

The Tortoise and the Snail

Since it's almost time to flip the calendar to September, I was a bit surprised to note our kitchen calendar still proclaimed July. The sun was coming up and I'd just come in from a run, feeling a bit deflated. Thinking I'd run a clean 3 mile course, I mapped it out only to discover it was 2.5 miles. I keep accurate milage of all my trails and was so confident of this one I never formally looked it up. I don't know what made me check the route today, but I was thoroughly disappointed.

My tardiness in flipping the calendar turned out to be a good thing, however, because July's cartoon did me a world of good. Like a little girl holding a freshly popped ballon, perfect timing prompted me to look up at the happy tortoise donning his little blue sneakers. With the daunting sign on his left that read Marathon Race Today, his friend and co-competator, the cheering snail, accompanied him on his right. Both would traverse the race slow as molasses, but this detail didn't effect their attitude. Entering the race to do their very best, they focused on the task and not their shortcomings.

Knowing the fairy tale tortoise was one of the slowest members in the race yet won due to sheer perseverance, my spirits began to lift in tandem with the new day's sun. Staring at the month of July a half mile shy of my goal, this little gem reminded me that though I may fall short in some of my endeavors, it isn't my job to win as much as it is to do my best. I'm not responsible for the result as much as my attitude and effort during the process, a welcome life lesson at any age.

Our kitchen calendar is still paused on July because I didn't have the heart to flip it. I'm sure August has a valuable lesson to learn but I want to ponder the tortoise's perseverance a little longer. My heart needs to carefully meditate on the accompanying verse as well.

"As you know, we consider blessed

those who have persevered."

James 5:11a

The word "blessed" in this verse means: happy, to beautify, and pronounce fortunate. The word "persevered" means: endure, to stay under, remain, bear trials, and abide. With this in mind, we can read this verse with the understanding that when we determine to endure through trials of life, God will pronounce particular blessings upon us that make us happy and beautiful. Like the notoriously slow tortoise and snail, we will not look at our shortcomings or intimidating obstacles, but by faith run the race to the best of our ability with happiness and contentment as our foundation.

What race are you running today? Perhaps you're running up a vicious hill and your legs are killing you or you're in a torrential down pour cold and soaked to the bone. Maybe you are suffering great physical or spiritual pain and feel as though you can't finish the next 15 feet let alone complete the race. If this describes your life's race I encourage you to persevere. Don't give up or lose focus. Keep your eyes on God for He is our creator and sustainer. I pray this all the time in both physical and spiritual runs, "Lord, grant me a renewed strength so that I can carry on. May I not give up but rather persevere for your Name's sake."

Whatever life is dishing out to you today remember God is waiting to pronounce a multitude of blessings upon you. Blessing that will make you beautiful, happy, and content. Perseverance, however, is the key. When we determine to endure through life's trials God's character traits are honed within us, molding us more into His image and blessing us all the more.

Let's learn from the tortoise and snail. No race is too difficult with God at our side for it is because of Him we've already won!

Abby Update

I received an update on Abby today and if all goes well she'll be going home tomorrow. She's gained a few pounds for the first time in weeks and her little body seems to be accepting the tube feeding with her new medication. The doctors said the best thing for her now is to get home and begin school with all the other children. After a month in the hospital, that's the least this sweet child deserves.

Apparently after Dani gave Abby the nail polish and lip gloss set last weekend, Abby enjoyed a fresh manicure and began asking for the lip gloss and lip balm. Prior to Dani's gift her mother said they couldn't get her to let them put anything on her lips and it was very frustrating. I'm so glad I listened to Dani's insisting that we buy the little girly gift pack versus the purple nail polish I had picked out. I thought I was being hip and modern suggesting such a wild color. Now I feel like an old fogy.

To all of you who prayed for Abby...THANK YOU...and please don't stop. She faces so many obstacles on a good day and has a long road of recover ahead of her. Nothing, however, will set her on the road toward healing like getting home to her friends and the ability to gain some weight. Continue to keep her family in your prayers as well. They are dedicated but exhausted.

If you have an extra prayer in you, ask God to help Dani learn to smile when a camera comes as opposed to reducing to tears.

Dani Visits Abby

A few months ago Dani met Abby at a festival here in town. Abby's mother is a co-worker of mine, so we were sad this week to hear Abby was in the hospital. She's been sick with an unknown intestinal disorder and her mother thought it would cheer Abby to see Dani. Since the children's hospital is familiar stomping grounds for us, Dani happily went bearing gifts and was quite ready to share a little love.

We had sent three Hawaiian leis to Abby a couple of days before our visit, so Dani wore her favorite pink flower lei to the hospital. She loaded her wrists with seven colorful bracelets and I encouraged her to think about giving Abby a few when we arrived. Dani had also picked out a girly gift pack of pink nail polish with two lip glosses and proudly carried her gift bag on her arm through the hospital.

Upon arrival we were greeted by

Abby's wonderful grandmother, Mary.

Dani gave Abby her present

and Abby picked five of her favorite bracelets.

Dani cried when the camera came out,

which is normal for her,

but she was also concerned that Abby had an IV.

She thought it hurt.

Abby was being silly with her favorite doll.

Time to slow down and rest.

The girls said their good byes and

we prayed with Abby and her grandma before leaving.

Please pray for Abby as the doctors attempt to diagnose her rare disorder. Jimmy and I have been where this family is and it's a difficult road. The days are long and the nights even longer. There is nothing like watching your child battle an illness that puzzles the experts as it steals your child. It is an indescribable grief that seems to suspend time.

In the midst of it all, however, we cling to the knowledge that God is good. He never forgets even one of His children. He loves, protects, teaches, and guides us every inch of the way. He has not forgotten Abby or her family and has a special plan for them. Jimmy, Dani, and I feel privileged to lift them up to God during this time and encourage them to the best of our ability. Bringing Dani in for a visit was the least we could do.

"Comfort, comfort my people, says your God."

Isaiah 40:1

Race for a Cure

Kansas City hosted its Susan G. Komen run today and 25,000 runners joined in to "Race for the Cure." My mother died of breast cancer in 2006, making this event extra special to me. The pictures speak for themselves, so enjoy.

My friend Debbie pins the

"In memory of My Mom"

sticker on my back.

A good friend always has your back.

Debbie, myself, and Shauna, before the race.

Heading out.

There were so many runners

I had to wave to catch Jimmy's attention.

Kansas City's meteorologist, Katie Horner,

reading "In memory..." stickers at the start of the race.

That's when I started to cry.

The beautiful mass or runners.

Race for a Cure (cont.)

As Dani waits for her mama to come back,

she poses for this picture

with the humongous pink pig donation bank

in the background. She loves pigs.

My best friend and prayer warrior, Debbie,

and me after the race.

It was HOT!

One of the thousands of touching memorials

to victims of breast cancer.

Dani holding her pink dog balloon

freshly constructed by a pink clown.

I look forward to the next "Race for the Cure." You might consider getting involved yourself. It's a good thing!

Exceptional Family Time

Friday morning I packed up and left for St Louis to meet with a few parents who have special needs children and are fellow bloggers on Exceptional Family TV. Jimmy stayed home with Dani to keep her on schedule, so I was footloose and fancy free.

Prior to leaving I had the best time wrapping presents for the children and their parents because, even though we'd never met, we are linked by a special bond that requires no introduction. I was eager to take the trip and arrived to no disappointment. We were all welcomed into the Oswald's home with open arms, given our own part of the house to spend time together and get acquainted, and fed some scrumcious food.

Driving in from Tennessee came Susan, Exceptional Family's CEO and Executive Producer. She and I had spoken many times over phone, on Skype, and through emails, but nothing takes the place of a personal meeting and it was a pleasure to see this talented lady. What cracks me up is how different Susan and I are. She's a global thinker who dreams BIG dreams, while my brain resides comfortably in a box, struggling to accomplish even the smallest of tasks. Her big ideas used to intimidate me but I've learned to respect the talent God has granted her. After all, if she were me, Exceptional Family TV would not be the success it is today.

I also met for the first time Tara Ecklund, eFamily TV Sales Representative and mother to sweet little Lilly. Tara and I hit it off from the get go, even though I'm not sure how anyone could not get along with her. She's simply beautiful inside and out, and what a terrific mother. I don't know how many times I watched her care for Lilly and prayed I'd done half as well when Dani was that age. Tara has a great sense of humor and was a great air mattress filler upper. She worked hard to adjust my bed to fit my needs and we were like two silly girls as she filled up my mattress a second time and took advantage of the moment by blowing me in the face with the blower. I like cheap fun and that was a hoot. Once settle in for the night, Tara and I talked in the dark about all sorts of things, just like roommates in college.

Then there's the Oswald's who opened their home to our tribe. They have five children in all, one of which is Katy who has special needs. Their home is a true home filled with love, discipline, and respect. Their generosity made our weekend a success and for that we say thank you!

Here are a few pictures of the journey.

Heading out at dawn.

If you look real close you can smell the coffee.

God's signature sunrise.

A storm off in a distance,

God's way of spicing up things.

Continue below...

Exceptional Family Time (continue)

Rest, play, and talk time.

Tara enjoys the Oswald's black labrador, Hope.

The girls play the piano.

Todd smoked ribs that were so good Susan nearly cried and

Michelle's sopapillas almost reduced me to tears.

Lilly and Katy at dinner

Thanks for a wonderful weekend everyone. When can we do this again?

Pet Therapy

Our hospital recently launched a new volunteer program that’s proving to be a howling success. Sure to bring a smile to everyone’s face, our new therapy dogs come on site three days a week. Administering a special healing balm that only canines can provide, they arrive wearing their own photo ID badge clipped to their collars and commence meandering their way to each unit spending time with patients, staff, and visitors. Nearly everyone lights up when they arrive and our office is no exception. In fact, we’ve given strict instructions to the program leader and dog owners alike to always stop by for a visit whenever these special paws step onto the premises.

Yesterday Chance stopped by for a visit. The last time he came he was a bit nervous as we showered him with attention. It was his first visit to the hospital and he missed his canine brother and sister at home. I felt sorry for him and wanted to do something to make him feel a little more at home the next time he came, so I placed a bowl of dog biscuits on my desk. This time when Chance arrived I escorted him back to my desk, placed the bowl of treats on my chair, and let him sniff away. I knew he was beginning to relax when I felt him lean on my leg. Soon he laid down, closed his eyes, and enjoyed a little massage.

Bless his little heart he even nibbled up a last crumb from his biscuit as he soaked up the attention. His soft coat was white, black, grey, and tan. Cute as a bug's ear. After his time of TLC in our department he went on to the Emergency Room to visit someone in need and then headed home for the day. I suspect he bragged a bit about his hard day at work when he got home to his brother and sister.

We can't wait for another dose of pet therapy!

Holy Squash!

I'm almost scared to go to the garden these days. We have but a modest compost pile that somehow manages to grow "Promised Land" type vegetables. This baby below is the third gargantuan squash we've harvested in the past two weeks. You should see the looks I get when walking to work with one of these beauts. Today I walked into the office, holding this squash's big brother like a baby, and said to our new secretary, "Look at the new baby I just delivered." She glanced up and was so surprised she blurted out laughing.



HOW TO COOK: Cut this hefty Hindenburg in half, coat with olive oil, salt, pepper and any other of your favorite spices, grill for 3-4 minutes each side, and you have a delicious and healthy side dish for dinner.

What fruits are you harvesting from your garden this year?


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Running the Race

In two weeks many of my friends, co-workers, and women of Kansas City will be participating in the Susan G. Koman run for a cure. Breast cancer took my mother's life, so this event holds a special place in heart. I will be running in honor of her.

Ecclesiastes and I usually head out for a run at 5:45 am, before the sun has a chance to team up with the already existing humidity. It took a while to get used to it, but I've learned to love running before dawn because there are so few travelers out at that time. We jaywalk/run whenever the urge hits, I don't have to put on sunscreen, which makes it harder for sweat to evaporate and cool off the body, and Ecclesi gets to see all the rabbits busily running about, giving him lots of free entertainment along the way. Most of all the quiet pre-dawn hours seem to magnify the presence of God, making it a great time for prayer.

Training in the heat and humidity is terribly challenging, especially for this new and rather mature runner. The days of running a compete course without stopping to walk, rest, and take a sip of water are a distant memory as the dog-days of summer faithfully oppress each day. I remember when the first heat wave of the summer arrived I thought something was wrong with me as my stamina suddenly evaporated away, making a once easy route painful and daunting. I began monitoring my heart rate and discovered the heat and humidity was more taxing on the body than I had imagined.

I continue to run outside in order to adapt to the climate, so Ecclesi and I set out this morning for a long 4.5 mile run. Thinking it would be a luxury to sleep late for just one day, we left an hour later at 6:45am. The sun was coming up and the humidity was as thick and oppressive as usual. It was 80 degrees and we did fine 2 miles out, then the heat began to takes its toll. Ecclesi began to slow and before I knew it all I could do was walk at a snail's pace with a hand on my hip. I wasn't short of breath and my heart rate was decent, but I was so dog-on tired. I'd drink ice water and pour it down my neck, but neither would refresh. Then, I began to get goosebumps, something I instinctively knew wasn't a good sign.

Walking longer than usual, Ecclesi was working hard at prompting me to run. He was just as tired but must have figured running would get him home to the pool sooner. The same logic was in my head but my body would not cooperate. I was glad I had my cell phone with me and wondered more than once if I'd have to call Jimmy. "Dear can you come get us? I'm laying on a grassy strip behind the hospital just off the highway near McDonalds. You can't miss us we're by the doggy poop trash can. It's awfully hot can you hurry?" Part of me cautiously hoped Ecclesi would begin limping temporarily so I could call for an escape, but he seemed to be getting a second wind. Mustering up the will to carry on, I walked, ran, trotted, and gimped the way home in fairly good time, but it was no fun. No fun at all.

The more I run the more I see how it mirrors life. Sometimes we feel as though we can run a marathon, while other times there are so many factors against us we can barely limp along. The key to surviving and even thriving in both is perseverance, that tenacious will that refused to give up. We may fall or fail but quitting is never be an option. It isn't a sin to walk, rest, or take a sip of water along the way and it doesn't ruin the race, it merely gives you what you need to carry on. Some races will be better than others but each serves as a building block for the next, which is where we find our hope for the future. A bad day is bad but soon will pass. In its place will be a new one, better than the last.

If you are tired on your journey, take a rest. Call for help if you need it and lay down in the grass along side the road if you must. Look up into the sky and remember God is with you. He loves you and you are never out of His reach. Pray to Him like never before and keep your eyes on Him for He will see you through. Most of all dear friend, never ever, ever, ever give up. To give up is to give in to the enemy. But to persevere is to bring joy to the heart of God!

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,

let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,

and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Hebrews 12:1

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22 Years!

Ahhh...I remember it well, heading to the hospital at 6:30 in the evening twenty-two years ago, not to have a baby but to work the night shift in ICU. With every bed in the unit filled to capacity, the nurses' report room was a mighty tight fit.

Big as a barn I busily took notes of each patient's condition, but soon found it increasingly difficult to pay attention. Coming to my senses after a particularly hard contraction, my eyes lifted to meet the stare of male nurse looking straight at me. "Are you alright? You look like you're in labor. Should you be here?" he said with chin pulled in and eyebrow raised.

All heads turned as his comment effectively blew my cover and in a flash the nursing supervisor was called, my condition was assessed, and I was on my way to having a baby. Our little doodlebug was born that morning at 3:30 am and the rest is history.

The "Queen" as we call her has been a puzzle, pickle, joy, and mystery all rolled up in one. Jimmy and I of course had no clue what our future held the day she was born, but even after 22 years we wouldn't trade her for nothin', no way no how.

Of course, life with disabilities is an exceptionally tough road, just ask someone in our shoes. There are times when grief is a monster shy just one hair of overpowering us as the reality of her disabilities sinks deeper into our hearts. Then, amidst it all we remember two key anchors of hope: God allowed her into our lives and He has a perfect plan.

Happy Birthday little sis.

We love you!

Dani with all her presents.

Brother Drew mailed her a package of candy

which arrived right on time.

Dani's Day Hab had a party for her today. She proudly left this morning with her 9.5 lb cake (no joke that thing nearly broke my back carrying it to the car) and celebrated with her friends. She received a stack of handmade cards, peach body spray (which she's applied 5 times this evening), and a twelve-pack of roller lip gloss. Jimmy said she plopped herself in the car with all her gifts, flipped down the sun visor, and began lavishly applying her lip gloss. She's her mama's girl.

"For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb."

Psalm 139:13

Beauty and the Beast

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, this morning beauty was more of a beast as Dani approached the breakfast table. Bless her heart our little sweet pea has not one ounce of style, but loves to dress herself and show off her favorite items of clothing. The problems is she tends to wear all her favorites at once, ushering in shocking combinations when you least expect it.

This morning she pranced into the kitchen, pretty as you please, donned in her favorite Pterodactyl socks framed by a pair of my sandals. With mannequin white legs extending out her orange knit shorts, she was quite the sight to behold. No doubt God and His angels smiled and giggled along with Jimmy and me.

The piece de resistance was the hole in the sock over her right big toe.