Blogger's Testimony

I recently had the opportunity to hear a young man, Zach Bieghler, speak about his experience with blogging. He travels around the country sharing his testimony and with his permission I share it with you. His is a sobering story with many lessons to be learned and much as our Lord does through scripture, Zach uses his experience as an example of what we should never do.

BLOGGING? A GOOD IDEA?

My name is Zach Bieghler and I’m a paramedic in the State of Kansas. I have served with various EMS agencies in South Central Kansas as well as for an educational institution. I’ve been a paramedic since September of 2005 and in EMS since 2002. I’ve spent the last six years of my life dedicated to EMS, working as much as I could, between multiple EMS jobs to gain knowledge and experience. Life was good. I had recently become established enough to buy my first home in the town of which I served. I was taking various EMS courses to be a better instructor for my students of which I taught. Life as it seemed was on the right track I hoped and dreamed for. Unfortunately, that dream came to a sudden stop, which came by no one else’s fault but my own.

In April of 2007 my EMS partner and I were called out for an inter-facility transfer. The patient had several medical complications, in addition to being severely obese. Several hours after the call and when the report was finished, I sat down at the computer, while on the clock mind you, and entered Myspace.com. There I started a “blog” which I wrote about the call I had just ran hours before. Out of respect for my previous employer, I’m not going to discuss what I had written in the blog, but to say ashamedly, it was vulgar and offensive and related to the patient’s level of obesity.

I had written the blog for my friends to see only, most of which are in the EMS profession. I later discovered that I did not have settings adequate on Myspace.com to prevent the general public from viewing. I wrote the blog to share my experiences and to make them laugh. As a healthcare provider, we all must be empathetic and sympathetic towards all patients regardless of the situation. As I wrote this blog, my empathy for this patient was absent. I didn’t think about the anger, humility, and mistrust that could have manifested by the patient towards me, my agency or my profession. Not to mention a legal preceding that could have been initiated by the patient that could have damaged my agencies trust and reputation. This will present a tough, but extremely important lesson to learn as time goes by.

After I had written the blog, time went by as usual. As months went by I had actually forgot that I had written the blog. I had actually cared for this patient two more times since the blog for various reasons. As I continued caring for him I grew to like the patient. I remember one time as I entered his residence he greeted me by first name with a smile. You have developed a special bond with a patient when they remember you by name and you remember them. At this point, I would have deleted the blog from my site, but as I said, I had forgotten all about it.

In September of 2007, a co-worker reported the blog to my employer. This initiated a meeting between my Director, hospital Vice President and my agencies attorney. While participating in a mass casualty drill I was pulled away and escorted to the Vice President’s office. I knew it had to be a significant matter to pull me away from such a training exercise. Completely oblivious as to what was going on, I found myself in the office with the Vice President of Operations and the Director of EMS. I was immediately confronted with the blog that I had written. I had a rush of emotions, the most powering being sorrow for what I had done. I was instructed not to talk about it, delete all work related blogs immediately and was given a 30 day unpaid suspension. My Director also told me that he would more than likely be reporting the incident to the Kansas Board of EMS.

In a state of complete devastation I arrived home and immediately logged onto Myspace.com and deleted every blog I had ever written. I found out that evening that two of my co-workers had also been suspended 30 days without pay because of my personal blog and their return comments. I’m the author and they got suspended as well! I had never lived with such guilt in my life as I felt then. So guilt ridden in fact, that I lost 10 lbs over the next few days.

I continued to work for the educational institution during time I was suspended. After a week of my suspension, the Dean of Instruction at the educational institution received a letter accompanied by a copy of my blog. Now, this blog not only caused my problems at my EMS service, but my secondary job as well. This resulted in a very stern meeting between me and the EMS Program Director. The Program Director is my mentor and I had really let him down. Not only did I let him down, I let down the entire staff and students at the educational institution. The guilt and disappointment in me was starting to become unbearable. Serving a thirty day suspension from my career and my primary source of income took its toll. I had to completely drain all of my savings to stay afloat. All of this resulted because of my poor choice of judgment. I soon found that things were just starting.

I returned to work after my suspension and found myself working with those extremely disappointed in me. After a couple of days and a few talks with co-workers, things only improved by a little. I will never get that full respect back that I had prior to the incident and I wouldn’t ask for it either. What I did was wrong and hard for anyone to forgive. Still guilt-ridden and disappointed beyond words, I found myself having difficulty coping with what I had done and fell into a deep depression.

February of 2008 rolled around; I was enrolled in an Instructor Coordinator class to further my education and passion to teach. I found that my Director did in fact report the incident to the Kansas Board of EMS. The Board’s Investigations Committee was meeting in just days. I had contacted the Board and confirmed the news and was told that a decision would be made at the meeting later that week. The week passed slowly by as I waited in horror. Friday came and I contacted the Board office. I found that a decision had been made to revoke my Paramedic certification. My world was soon spiraling out of control.

As one could imagine, the process to revoke a license is not a quick and painless process. The process took months. Not knowing when my license would be revoked and trying to concentrate on my career was painstaking. One of the hardest things to complete was my Instructor Coordinator class, uncertain of my careers future path.

I had finally started to build my savings back up and was advised to seek an attorney. This was another financial hit from my original mistake. I hired an attorney to help me through the revocation process. A total of nine months passed since my original suspension. Nine months of guilt, anguish, disappointment and depression, I finally received a consent agreement. Given the options and willing to accept my mistake and consequences of my action, I signed the consent agreement. This agreement listed several things, to summarize, I was being revoked for no less than 90 days for professional misconduct emphasizing on a possible violation of patient confidentiality.

Consequently, I resigned as a paramedic for the service I worked for and had to quit teaching, which is something I’m very passionate about. I had to take a job as a vendor merchandiser, stocking shelves in grocery stores. Working alone everyday gave me a lot of time to think about what I had really done and who I had disappointed. Having resigned from the EMS agency and not being able to teach, I roughly took a 60% pay cut. Once again, the financial burden, for my moment of poor judgment, continually hung over my head. During this time I relied very heavily on my family, friends and mentors. As I relied on them, they too suffered, feeling the ups and downs of the process. Also during this time I sought counseling for my actions from a mental health hospital. Having completed the counseling I learned more about empathy and it’s importance. It instilled in me the importance of patient confidentiality as I found myself as a patient in a mental health hospital.

After barely struggling though my 90-day period it was time to try and get reinstated. I knew that it was possible that the Board could extend my revocation or worst yet revoke my MICT indefinitely. I soon found myself sitting in front of the Investigations Committee in Topeka, in a small room, crowded with people I didn’t know. I felt alone as I really only knew three individuals there, two of which testified on my behalf. As I stood out in the hallway with the panel during deliberation, I felt sick with emotions. “What if they say no?” was all I could think of. I thought about how much effort and time (6 years) I had put into my career. For what? All for the chance to blog on Myspace.com?

The large group in the hallway filed back into the conference room as I took a seat back at the table in which I had testified at. The decision was made to reinstate my MICT! This was all I could ask for. There were two conditions that followed: 1) Write an article for the KEMSA Chronicle, which would also be published on the KSBEMS website, and 2) make myself available to any EMS agency across the State of Kansas to speak about what I had done and the consequences that followed.

Having listed the conditions stated, I want to emphasize that I’m not writing this article because I have to. I am writing this article to educate other EMS professionals. What I did was wrong and should never happen to anyone. I want people to learn from my mistake. I have heard several of my colleagues talk about calls that they had ran, some even in the same format as what I had wrote. We in EMS all have to know that “blogging” has consequences. Each and every bit of electronic postings must edify the profession, other technicians, ourselves and the patients we serve. I want my colleagues to think twice before saying or writing anything about the patients they care for. We have to be empathetic, put yourself in their shoes. Or as the hospital Vice President asked me in her office, “What if that patient was your mother, father, son or daughter”? As to the second condition listed, I would be more than happy to discuss my experience with your employees, co-workers or students. This is free of charge as required. You can schedule this by contacting me by email at emsmedic712@gmail.com.

I would like to thank the Kansas Board of EMS for giving me the privilege and opportunity to share my experience with others. I would also like to thank KEMSA for publishing this article. Also thanks to all my family, friends, colleagues and my counselor who has supported me through this trying experience.

Thank you Zach. May the Lord restore you fully and completely.

"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up." Psalm 71:20

I Was Right!

I just love being right because I am so often wrong. I don't know how many times I've approached Jimmy like a little girl handing her daddy a broken doll and asked him to fix my laptop. With the patience of Job he listens to my story, takes it, fixes it, and hands it back to me good as new. When I ask what was wrong he often chalks it up to user error; a nice way of saying it was me.

Recently, however, I relished in correctness. Dani woke up cranky and in need of her velcro pressure vest. Jimmy knew it would help turn her day around and began hunting for it high and low. Unable to find it, he called me and asked where it might be. "It's either in her dresser, on her bookshelf, or in her closet" I said, knowing without a doubt it was indeed in her room. In spite of my instructions he was unable to find it and ended up taking her to work a bit frustrated at the futility of it all.

The next day, while he was on a photo shoot, I went into her room and resumed the search. Tracing the same steps, I promptly found the vest on her closet floor. It was a bit hidden in the shadows, but there nonetheless. Alas! It was time for a little fun.

Grabbling the vest off the floor I hung it in the bathroom with a friendly little note attached.

"Once I was lost...

Now I am found.

Daddy was blind...

But now he sees me!"

It felt good to be right, even though it'll probably be a while before it happens again.

A Gift for You

Gifts are just as much fun to give as they are to receive, so imagine the joy of the Holy Spirit when He presented you with your spiritual gifts! Like Christmas, every time a child is born, lavish gifts are bestowed with the divine intent and desire they be used for the glory of God.

While the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) help us grow more into the image of Christ, spiritual gift are special abilities given to us by the Holy Spirit for the purpose of ministry. These gifts are supernatural abilities that may spring from a a person’s natural ability, but ultimately go above and beyond natural talent. While we are born with talents we are born again with spiritual gifts.

So, what gifts has the Spirit given you? Though no one receives every gift, God give all His children at least one and most likely two or three. Look at the gifts below and see what fits. What attracts you like a magnet and comes most natural?

1. Administration – Goal and objective oriented individuals coordinate resources to accomplish tasks quickly.

2. Evangelism – Strong desire to share the gospel with nonbelievers in every situation and by all possible means.

3. Exhortation – Special ability to encourage others in the body of Christ by giving them words of comfort. Eager to help others grow spiritually by sharing past personal failures.

4. Giving – Love to give material or financial goods so that the needs of the Lord’s work are met. Often good in money management.

5. Helps – Desire to further the church’s ministry by meeting the needs of others, especially those in leadership positions.

6. Hospitality – Ability to make guest feel comfortable and at home. They have a desire to promote a warm welcome to guests in any setting.

7. Leadership – Ability to lead others toward spiritual growth and communicate effectively to large groups of people.

8. Mercy – Have immediate compassion for those who are suffering physically, spiritually, or emotionally. Attracted to people in distress.

9. Prophecy – Able to proclaim God’s truth without compromise. Need to express themselves verbally, especially about right and wrong.

10. Service – The ability to perform any task with joy that benefits others and meet practical needs. Has a tendency to disregard own comfort and personal health to serve others.

11. Shepherding – Unique ability to take responsibility for long-term spiritual growth of a group of believers. They see guiding, feeding, and protecting a flock of Christ’s followers as their responsibility.

12. Teaching – Ability to explain God’s truth so that others can understand and apply it in their lives. Desire and ability to research and present truth in an organized and systematic fashion.

Now let's share. What are your top three gifts?

Romans 12:3-8

“For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. 4 For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, 5 so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. 6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; 7 or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; 8 he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.”

The Grand Opening

We have a new Macy's close to our home and I was eager to attend the grand opening. I was pleasantly surprised to see and smell a Starbuck's as soon as I walked in the door. It was in the store mind you. How handy is that? It was a good start right off the bat.

Since it was my first time in the building, I decided to follow the tile path that went around the store, kind of like a yellow brick road of sorts. I had no doubt it would give me a good tour of the new facility. Walking past pots, pans, pillows, curtains, and comforters, I entered the lingerie department where the cutest top and pant set caught my eye. The top was a soft delicate pink with matching pants covered with black polka dots. They were cute as a bug's ear. "If they look half as good on me as they do on the hanger I am taking them home today!"

Hastily finding my size, I took a bee-line straight to the fitting room eager to see how I'd look in the nightwear. Everything smelled so fresh and new, making it a double joy to be a part of this grand opening. Closing the rich wood-slatted door, I commenced trying on the pant and top set. About mid try-on, I heard two employees talking in the background. I wasn't paying attention to their conversation until I heard a third employee pop in saying, "Could you please give her some help?" The girls promptly went to the assistance of someone whom I assumed was a customer, at which time I couldn't help but listen to a rather perplexing conversation.

"Ok, I need you to help me get this on so it doesn't knock my head off" said the supposed customer. One of the employees responded with a professional "ok" as apparent adjustments were underway. At this point I couldn't help but wonder what they could be doing for this woman. As hard as I tried I couldn't fathom how the girls where helping this woman keep her head on and what could possibly threaten it coming off. The suspense was killing me but I was nearly dressed and ready to leave. Most likely I would never know what they were talking about and the mystery would forever go unanswered.

By the time I left the dressing room things were quiet. The two employees and customer were gone, or so I thought. Heading back to place the night clothes on the rack, I glanced down the tile walkway all to see the answer to the mysterious conversation. With puzzle pieces falling into place at the speed of light, it was all I could do to keep from bursting into laughter because walking down the isle was a doll mascot with the biggest head you could ever imagine. She looked like a giant Cabbage Patch doll with long rope for hair that was sure to be the major contributor to her heavy head. No wonder she needed help in the dressing room. She could have never gotten that noggin on all by herself. No way no how.

You should have seen the employee as she gingerly guided the poor over-sized doll to the grand opening ceremony. Honestly, an anemic snail could have traveled faster than the pair, which is what made it so hilarious. Snickering and smiling ear to ear, I did the only thing I could do at that moment. I made my way to a display bed, sat down, and texted the scene to my son Drew.

I walked out of the grand opening empty handed. The pant set looked better on the hanger than it did on me, but I did walk away with something money can't buy, a silly smile and a mystery solved.

Any grand openings in your area?

Rockin' Crocs

I swore I'd never buy them. Not because there is anything wrong with them, but because everyone and their dog has them...Crocs. For years I've seen them in grocery stores, malls, and hospitals. The garden center here in town has a wall of Crocs just waiting to crawl out into the world and join the crowd. If only I had invented these little critters!

Well, never say no. I bought my first pair this week. With winter coming and my favorite New Balance slip on tennis shoes chewed up and no longer in production, I turned on my heals and jump on board. They didn't have size 5 so I took a gamble and ordered 6, hoping the fuzzy lining would take up some room. They landed on my porch this afternoon and lo and behold they fit! Now I'm ready for winter (I am always thinking ahead) and can move past the grief of losing my favorite sneakers.

Do you own some Crocs? If so, what color and how many?

Chocolate Basket Delight!

A friend at work had a little surgery so we decided to get her a "Get Well" present. Figuring it would be more personalized if we assembled it ourselves, I offered to put a basket of chocolates together, which meant I got the delicious job of shopping for cocoa candies, cookies, and coffee. By the end of my spree this is what we ended up giving her.



This is the most delicious craft I've ever done.

If you are a chocolate lover, what is your favorite kind?

Puppy Reunion

This weekend Cocoa reunited with two of his siblings, Molly and Ki. It was a small gathering, but feisty, furry, and fun just the same. We let the dogs run in the field before lunch so they could get to know each other again and then watched them swim for hours on end. It was a dog-on good time!

Cocoa and Ecclesi (front)

Ki (heading up the rear)

Cocoa (left) and Ki (right)

Ecclesi (left)

Cocoa and Ki (middle)

Little Miss Molly

(far right looking like a character in Dr. Seuss)

Cocoa on Molly's tail

Ki and Cocoa

It was fun to compare notes. All the pups love people and are as gentle as lambs. Ki did a beautiful thing when he arrived. Even though it's been six months and 80 lbs since he was last here, the first thing he did when he walked in the front door was head straight toward the bedroom he was born. Following his nose, he found his way back to the very beginning of his tenure here on this earth. It was stunning and truly amazing.

Then there's little Miss Molly who seemed to know Ecclesi was not her brother and therefore had a crush on him. All she did during her visit was bark in his ear while he retrieved one toy after another. The less attention he gave her the louder she barked and the more she barked the less attention she got. It was a viscous circle that reminded me a bit of high school.

All the pups have wonderful homes and though it would have been great to get them all together I am not sure we could have handled so many rambunctious pups. Suffice it to say God has faithfully answered the prayers I prayed over each pup by placing them in safe, good, and loving homes. Thank you God!

"Just for Fun" Quiz Results

Monday I shared with you the war between my more delicate clothing and Jimmy's multi-velcro-pocketed cargo shorts. At the end of each wash cycle I'd open the machine to the horrifying scene of my nylon underwear clinging to dear life amidst a good choking by his Velcro vipers. Something had to be done, so now my delicates bathe alone in peace and then hang dry in the cool gentle breeze of a fan on low.

Quiz Answer: On behalf of mental exercise, I posed the question asking which side of the clothes line you thought my skirt was hung on to create this particular angle. It bends the mind to think it does make a difference. Believe it or not the long end was on the upslope of the line as it hung on the left side of the clothesline. I would have guessed the short end would have been on the upslope.

I discovered another surprise when washing the skirt a second time to get it back in shape. Rewetting it didn't work. It still came out crooked as an old walking stick. It took me repeating this process a third time to realize that all I had to do was hang it on a "straight" line and manually pull it back into shape. Three washes and two blogs later I have my skirt back.

If you want to hear a true horror story read Cheryl Barkers comment on Monday's blog about her daughter's wedding dress when they hung it on a line two weeks before the wedding. My trial pales in comparison.

Who'd Have Thought?

I have a short laundry line in the basement where I hang certain clothes to dry. Things that are delicate that I don't want harassed by the aggressive apparel that live under this roof, things like Jimmy's cargo shorts. With enumerable velcro strips on a bazillion different pockets, they invariably spring open up in the dryer unleashing a gang of rough and tumble bullies who love to pick on innocent defenseless victims like my silk underwear or favorite top. As any good principal would do, I've assessed the situation, addressed the issue, and made adjustments to protect the more fragile and frail victims of laundry care, hence the clothesline.

Fragile and frail...yeah...to say the least. Even with the greatest of care I've discovered I must be cautious even when suspending these sensitive items. Who would have thought that hanging this skirt on the upper slope of the line would make it dry crooked? Golly, how easily altered can you be? And I thought I got bent out of shape easily. Shoot fire I've stood on a hill for a while and not walked away with a limp, so it is possible.

Needless to say this skirt is back in the wash "alone" and will be hung "properly" so as not to upset its delicate nature.

Just for fun: By looking at the angle of this skirt, which side of the clothes line do you think it was hung, the right or the left?

Speechless...no more

Last week we celebrated Dani's 21st birthday. Forget cars, college, and the latest fashion, all she ever wants for her special occasion is candy, kids shampoo, and early reader books. Her simplicity is amazing and I've learned not fight but enjoy each passing year. Other than baking 35 king-sized cup cakes this year, her birthday came and went without much hoopla. Today, however, brought great cause to celebrate as Jimmy went to pick Dani up from work and her teacher tearfully told him Dani had spoken three words, "mom" "home" and "giraffe."

Knowing Dani had never spoken before, her teacher was as moved as if Dani where her own. Jimmy hadn't left the premises before he called me in tears, leaving me speechless and crying at the heart-warming news. As his words began to sink into my heart, the Lord reminded me what I said to Dani before leaving for work this morning, "Have a good day Sissy, remember God is with you."

Thank you God for showing your power today and for never leaving our little girl. If Dani never speaks again I thank you for allowing her first word to be "mom." May she fulfill the plan you have for her here on this earth and may you receive all the glory, honor, and praise.

Nullified

Nullify (transitive verb) means to make of no value or consequence.

Synonyms: nullify, negate, annul, abrogate, and invalidate.

Yesterday was a day of nullification. I didn't realize it until the end of the day, but like a old-time weight scale most everything I did nullified something or another allowing me to end the day well balanced. For instance, I slept unusually late in order to counteract the exceptionally busy week. I went to bed the night before utterly exhausted, so sleeping late affectively annulled my fatigue.

After enjoying a lovely read on the deck in the beautiful weather, we went to the mall to get the clasp on my ankle bracelet repaired. While at the jeweler I saw the silver twin of my favorite watch. I have five other watches and I love them all, but my shiny gold light-weight elegant time piece is my fave because it's like wearing nothing at all. At work I mouse with my right hand and write with my left and this watch is forever faithful to let me write in complete freedom. My silver baby wasn't cheap, so we went to Wal Mart and used seven coupons to save $10. A definite "A" for effort.

Then, considering the cool non-humid air of Kansas City wasn't going to last forever, I took the dogs out for a run. All three of us jogged the neighborhood with great gusto and though I don't know how the dogs felt about the outing, I returned home pretty sure I'd burned off a portion of the McDonald's lunch we ate before going to the mall. (I might have tipped the scales in the wrong direction when I ate a bowl of M&M's while watching Wipeout, but let's not count that since it ruins my point.)

Clearly nullification works best when anointed with a bit of rationalization.

A Delightful Day

Dani had a great day celebrating her birthday at work (Day Hab.) She shared her 4" king size cupcakes with everyone and Jimmy said they were a hit. Praise God too because baking them wasn't a breeze and not a total success. My friend, whom I borrowed the fancy cupcake pans from, guessed it would require three boxes of cake mix to make 35 treats. As I mixed up the last box it became clear I was going to come up short a dozen, maybe even a baker's dozen. Thankfully my sweet cupcake, Jimmy, ran to the grocery store to buy two more cake mixes. It took a total of five boxed to complete the order.

When all was said and done we had 35 fancy cakes, but a few weren't cooked fully even though they baked along side ones that came out a success. I picked the best of the batch for her to take to work, sending a tidy few that were a bit "soft." I felt horrible but there was nothing else I could do, so I prayed over the fragile treats. "Lord, this is all I have and I hate to send even one soft cake to disabled adults who deserve so much more. Please make is so the good ones are handed out first and if someone gets a soft cake, prompt it to strike them as the yummiest thing they've ever had. If you want to fix the softies overnight you can do that too." (If Jesus can feed a multitude with a few fish and loaves of bread, I knew He could make these treats a delight.)

Thankfully word has it everyone loved Dani's cupcakes. A miracle no doubt.

Here's Dani with 32 handmade

birthday cards given to her today

by her co-workers.

(Could it be three people didn't show up

and a few softies were never served?

That's one way God may have

answered my prayer.)

She also came home with wonderful birthday presents:

lotion, hair ties, and head bands.

All her favorite things.

Happy 21st Birthday Doodle Bug!

Happy Birthday Dani!

We celebrated Dani's 21st birthday today by making 35 king size cupcakes for her work tomorrow. She was tickled pink to mix the ingredients and add sprinkles to the tops in order to make treats for all her friends.






Happy birthday little girl. We love you and thank God for giving you to us. May the Lord guide, protect, and keep you all of your days!

Love,

Mom and Dad.

Look Who's Jumping Now

Eccesiastes is a pro. He jumps into the pool with vim, vigor, and precision. He's been doing it for years and is a retriever from head to tail. Cocoa Bean has been watching and learning all summer and is finally taking the plunge after his big brother. Ecclesi is a long distance jumper. He can jump into the pool and nearly hit his nose on the other side. Cocoa, on the other hand, is smaller and jumps with a spring that makes him fly high in an arch.

The hoot is we found out our neighbors a couple doors down thought Jimmy and I have been doing cannon balls into the pool over and over each evening. We nearly died laughing as we told them the loud splashing was the dogs not us. Can you imagine?

Third Time's A Charm

Why would it take three attempts for me to get my summer flag faced in the right direction so it could be read from the street? The first time I threaded it onto its hanger I walked in the front door with no self-doubt whatsoever. But, as I was about to close the front door, something (the Holy Spirit I suspect) prompted me to question my little decoration.

As I unlocked the glass door to take a second look I noticed I could read the flag from inside the house. "Maybe it says 'Summer Welcome' on both sides" I rationalized. But no. Two steps onto the lawn revealed I had indeed hung it wrong.

Hoping no one, especially our brand new neighbors, had witnessed my flag fax pau, I rehung the festive critter and stepped back for a second look. And would you believe, in spite of more fiddling, it still welcomed summer backwards. What are the odds? Honestly, I don't think I could have thought of three different ways to hang a flag if I tried.

Determined to meet the challenge, I flipped the crazy thing around another new way thus solving the Rubik's "flag" puzzle. Fortunately I don't have to do this again till fall.

Handy FYI: I hang all my little flags on a pant hanger in the coat closet inside the front door. It's keeps them organized and ready for the next season or occasion. (I wonder how many times it will take me to face Autumn toward the street in September.)

After Dark...No Problem

One of my favorite summer activities is reading a good book on the deck. I swing and read as the dogs romp around until they're too pooped to play and plop at my feet. Since the longest daylight hours have come to pass, valuable reading time is beginning to dwindle be it ever so small.

Defying nature I decided to get a book light. I've seen them for years but never felt the need for one, until recently. I used it for the first time last night and discovered it is handier than a pocket on a shirt! The sun set and I kept reading. Dani got tired of swinging and went into the house and I continued on. Even Ecclesiastes headed indoors to get a break from the fireworks over head, leaving Cocoa and me swinging in the dark as my "Mighty Bright" light illuminated every word.

I bought this handy little thing at Barnes and Noble for $14.95. It uses three AAA batteries and gives 22 hours of reading time. I absolutely love my new little buddy and look forward to using it again tonight. If you haven't tried it I'd say it a good investment for all avid readers.

Reaping Big

You reap what you sow and we're reaping big. This cucumber and green bean proves the TLC Jimmy's been giving the garden. We've never grown green beans before and I suspect we let some stay on the vine too long. Bigger may not better because these beans were dry and stringy. We'll try picking them sooner.

Are you tending a garden this year? If so, what are you harvesting and how is it turning out?

Lying In Repose?

I headed out to run errands after lunch on Sunday and as I departed Jimmy was fixing to read Dani a tale from her new story book. They had been locking horns all week for one reason or another. Come to find out she'd been suffering from PMS with a dash of Autism, a wicked and very real combination for sure. I could tell she was playing him like a fiddle, so I said a little prayer before turning the ignition of the car in hopes to ensure a good report when I arrived home.

I enjoyed a leisurely stroll through Office Max as I sifted through their colorful selection of calendars and carefully chose which clear colored ruler I wanted for work. The heavy oppressive humidity that had been plaguing Kansas City for weeks had lifted making my journey extra special. I hadn't a clue what was going on at home but I had said my prayers trusting all was well.

When I arrived home Jimmy was sprawled out on the couch and the house was silent as a funeral home. Glancing first to my left and then the right, I asked where Dani was and how story time went. "She began crying before I ever read the title to the story so I told her to go lay down until she got control of herself" he said with complete resolve.

Interesting turn of events. Didn't expect to hear that. So, with purse and package in hand I walked down the hall and peeped into Dani's room. Obedient to his request she had indeed gone to her room to lie on her bed and proceeded to stay there till she fell asleep, leaving her to look exactly like a corpse. It was a creepy sight and reminded me how in the old days families would put the body of a loved one on display in their home before burial. If it hadn't been for her raspy snoring I would have been totally mortified. I gently closed her bedroom door bothered by the fact her hearing aids were on and running for no good reason, but I couldn't bear the thought of disturbing her "peaceful" state.

She woke refreshed and we enjoyed a pleasant Sunday afternoon together.

Bottle Him Up

I woke to whining this morning at 6:30 am and this is what my barely-open eyes saw when I walked into Cocoa Bean's room.

And do you know what I thought as I rolled my weary eyes? I don't drink mind you, but I seriously prayed Mr. Bean would be like a fine wine and grow better with age. Too bad we can't bottle him up till he's more mellow.

Scootin' Around

Dani always comes home from her Day Hab program skipping and laughing as if she'd spent the day playing around. Now we see what the hoopla's all about.

Here Dani and her teacher scoot down

the hallway racing one another.

Back to work.

Bit-O-Trivia

Ezra 7:21, contains all the letters of the alphabet except 'J'

"And I, even I Artaxerxes the king, do make a decree to all the treasurers which are beyond the river, that whatsoever Ezra the priest, the scribe of the law of the God of heaven, shall require of you, it be done speedily"

Who thinks of these things?

"Green" Bean

It feels as though we’ve had little Cocoa Bean for a very long time. Born in our home over six months ago on Thanksgiving Day, we’ve literally watched him grow up from the moment he took his first breath. Long before he ever opened his eyes, we chose the little pup that looked like a rich brown cocoa bean lying on the bath towel among the litter of nine.

Life with Mr. Bean has been interesting to say the least. Sometimes it feels a bit like Marley and Me, one attention-grabbing chapter after another. For example just the other day I was all dressed and ready for work in my gold tapestry skirt when the thought hit me, “Uh oh…it just rained and Beanie Weanie’s been outside longer than it takes time to pee. If he is at all his normal self he’s digging in the mud.” Sure enough a look out the window confirmed my inkling. He had mud half way up to his elbows and snout.

Beano’s chewed up more things than I care to recall and has kept us up more nights than both kids put together, but without question he’s the smartest doggon dog I’ve ever seen. He can figure anything out in a snap. When Ecclesiastes was a pup he had a terrible time picking up the Frisbee when it landed rim down. He’d paw and claw at it like a hound dog at a rabbit hole, but the first time Cocoa encounter the same Frisbee he flipped it over with his nose like a short order cook flipping pancakes. Simply put, if he wants something bad enough he’ll figure a way to get it, especially when it comes to comfort.

One day while walking the dogs, Jimmy noticed Bean Pole walking weird. It was a beautiful sunny day and he couldn’t figure out why he was acting so strange. After watching him for a while Jimmy figured out that Bean was trying to walk in the shade of the wall along the sidewalk and when that shade was gone he'd revert to walking in Jimmy’s shadow. Zig zagging all over the sidewalk; his number one goal was to exercise in ease. It's no surprise that today, while walking the dogs, I nearly laughed my head off as Cocoa walk with his head under Ecclesi’s big noggin for shade.

Now, one could perceive this as lazy or selfish, but we think it’s efficient. You might call him a bit of a green Bean.

"Cocoa Bean"

aka...

Beanster, Beanie Weanie,

Bean Bag, Green Bean, Bean Pole,

Beano,

Coke, and Coaxster.

Jimmy Won 1st Place!

It's been four years since Jimmy golfed and as any perfectionist would do, he recently won first place at our local Christian radio station charity event. Congratulations Jimmy, Rich, Lonnie, and Mark. It was all for a good cause. We love you 88.5 KLJC!

You still got it dear!

God Is In Control

In Sunday school yesterday I taught on Romans 8 where Paul reassures us that we are more than conquers because of what Christ did on the cross and that His Spirit lives inside us as we live, breathe, and walk this earth. We learned that trials in life are to be considered precious and valuable because God has allowed them into our lives for a very special reason and that each trial holds great power to hone His greater character in us. We also discussed the great comfort of knowing that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. What sweeter words are there to plant deep into our hearts?

At the end of class one of the ladies quietly sat in her seat looking totally perplexed. As I approached her to say good bye she said, "I just don't understand verse 28 where it says God works His good through all things. Does that mean He works through all the bad things too? How can God bring good from evil?"

She went on to explain that she was not doubting God's word but simply could not understand this concept. Clearly her heart was honest, tender and seeking greater understanding. It was a precious thing to watch and I am glad the Lord gave me the privilege. I savored the moment as she searched through the pages of scripture to point out her question and watched as her hand slowly settled on the verse. She spoke to me but her eyes gazed off into space as if searching the heavens for an answer specifically from God.

Her question was so precious to me and I know it was priceless to God. She was like a child asking her daddy why the sky was blue and I can't count how many times I've approached God in the same fashion. During this tender moment I assured her that God invites us to ask Him questions and that when we do He is faithful to grant us greater understanding. I also assured her that even when we do not understand what His word is saying, it never contradicts itself. In fact, that is what makes Him God! If we understood everything about Him and how He works, He would not be the great I AM. It is in this great mystery that we can find comfort and rest in knowing that only He is God. He is always in control and one day our faith will become sight and we will understand His great, grand, and sometimes totally perplexing plan.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life,

neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future,

nor any powers, neither height nor depth,

nor anything else in all creation,

will be able to separate us from the love of God

that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:38-39

So, That's Where Mom Works!

Dani is a very visual person and has been wondering where I go when I leave for work, so she and Jimmy came for lunch. After a quick tour we headed off to the cafeteria for luscious hamburgers, tater tots, and cookies --- a sure way to make her smile.

Here we are in the beautiful bright glass

lobby of the hospital.

My office.

Dani was looking at my

co-workers who were giving her

a thumbs up.

There you have it.

Come again soon!

A Fun Day at Work

Dani's Day Hab program had a laua where she made a grass skirt out of newspaper and wore a pretty yellow leis. It's cute to watch her sign "laua." She waves her hands to the left and then to the right like a Hawaiian dancer.


She never enjoys getting her picture taken but seemed to enjoy modeling her apparel.

A Dedicated Soul

I'm beginning to see why dogs are called man's best friend. They make you feel so special as they follow you wherever you go and greet you with gusto no matter how long you've been gone. In fact, the longer you've been gone the greater the celebration! It's like having a fan club and paparazzi minus the questions and flashing lights.

Little Cocoa Bean is only six months old and already a dedicated soul. He follows me every where I go, even to the bathroom. He doesn't care if I'm bathing, washing my face, putting on cologne or spraying hair spray. He sticks to me like glue.

Here he is parked by the porcelain bowl

before I have the bathroom door closed.

My view from the tub.

(What a sweet baby)

Cocoa's faithful company serves to remind me how I am to follow God; faithfully, no questions, and with total peace and contentment. Thanks Mr. Bean for your pleasant reminder!

"Whoever serves me must follow me;

and where I am, my servant also will be.

My Father will honor the one who serves me."

John 12:26

"A Fair Amount"

"Ok, what are we doing today?" my stylist asked as I peered in the salon mirror looking like a drown rat. "Oh...take off a fair amount. It's getting too heavy to style anymore." I said in all seriousness.

"How much is a fair amount?" she replied in her usual patient and considerate way. That's when I burst into laughter. Hearing my ambiguous request coming from someone else's mouth uncovered how silly I sounded. We both began to laugh and discuss how different her "fair amount" might differ from mine. Oh how I love a careful stylist who works hard to give me what I desire in a hair cut.

On the way home I got one last giggle as my silly request replayed again in my head and was reminded how important it is to be specific as we lift our prayers to God. Generalities like "Father bless him, be with her, or heal so and so..." are as loose as my asking Kathleen to take off a "fair amount." It covers so much ground you're likely to get anything.

God wants us to pray, in fact He commands it. (Isaiah 55:6 and Matthew 7:7) But we are instructed to be specific in our requests. Why? Primarily so we don't become lazy. General, rote, and non-specific prayers, while well intended, lose their sincerity and meaning over time. Familiar and common they prompt us to lose our intimate connection with God, which is the last thing He wants. Like Kathleen, God asks us to be thoughtful and specific so He can taylor His answers to our unique need in order to bless us beyond our wildest dreams. Now how loving and kind is that.

Remember, nothing is too big or too small for God. He wants you to approach Him sincerely with everything that concerns you. Your prayers are a sweet incense that He saves and savors. When you speak He listens and yearns to responds. Rest in this truth as you offer your heart to Him.

"... Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense,

which are the prayers of the saints."

Romans 5:8b

A Turn of Events

When the global economy collapse, it took Jimmy's job down with it. His job as an SAP consultant has virtually vanished leading us to make changes we might not have otherwise made. With no alternative but to switch things around, I have returned to nursing and Jimmy is pursing his once part-time hobby of photography on a full-time basis. He is Mr. Mom and I head off to work. It's a big change but the Lord has blessed each of us abundantly. Jimmy is no longer flying out every week living in hotels and eating out, as he's done for 11 years, and I am back into the profession I've always been proud to be a part of.

As the full-time caregiver of the home, Jimmy is doing a fantastic job. He cooks (and is excellent at it), cleans, mows, runs the dogs, does the errands, dishes, and laundry. Tonight I went to put Dani to bed and saw she had crisp clean sheets on her bed from her daddy's hard work today. What a pleasure to know she's in the good hands of her daddy.

Perhaps you have gone through some changes lately too. Please share what the Lord is doing in your life and how He's provided in the midst of it all.

"Trust in the LORD and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture."

Psalm 37:3

My Other Half

Today Jimmy and I our celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary. I came home this evening after a long day at work and was greeted with a dozen red roses and a grilled fajita dinner. I was starving and the meal hit the spot, so did the flowers.

Oh, how I thank the Lord for a husband who loves God, me, and our family the way Jimmy does. We carry a lot of baggage we two. Having a disabled daughter for 20 years had been no easy challenge. It has in fact been quite difficult, but rather than take our frustrations out on one another, we instead support and cling together as one. God is our glue and He is the key to our success.

I remember praying for Jimmy months before I met him. I asked God to teach and mold him into a godly husband and father. Little did I know the power of those prayers. God is indeed a very faithful God and I see the evidence of His hand 26 years later as we celebrate our vows. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness that endures forever!

Happy anniversary Jimmy.

You are my one and only!

Happy Memorial Day!

A little sun and Memorial Day fun. After a long winter Ecclesiastes is happy to have his pool back and Cocoa Bean has yet to learn all it has to offer.





Hope you have a wonderful holiday as we remember those who gave their lives so that we may live in freedom.

A Corny Deal

I don't which is handier, the microwave or Google. Today we found corn on the cob eight ears for $2.00. It's hot and humid in Kansas City and while corn on the cob sounded great, heating the house with hot boiling water didn't sound so kind. I couldn't help but figure someone's surely figured out how to cook corn cobs in the microwave so I Googled it and what do you know, you can cook an ear (in its husk) in one and one half minutes and it's fabulous. Add a little butter and salt and this sweet corn was one good deal!

Find some ears and give it a try. It's a great summer treat!

When Words Cannot Express

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.

We do not know what we ought to pray for,

but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit,

because the Spirit intercedes for the saints

in accordance with God’s will."

Romans 8:26-27

Live long enough and you'll experience moments of utter speechlessness. The loss of a loved one through death, divorce or rebellion, financial collapse, or shocking news from the doctor. The list goes on and on. Though times like these may leave us devoid of words, thanks to the Holy Spirit we are far from hopeless. As Paul reassures us in Romans 8, when we are left without words to articulate our pain and suffering, His Spirit intercedes on our behalf.

Like an interpreter, He translates our deepest thoughts and feelings into meaningful speech and then offers it to the throne of God. With our best interest in mind He speaks to our heavenly Father that which we cannot express ourselves, thus ushering us into the presence of the great I AM. While the enemy would have us think we are mute, helpless, and abandoned, the Holy Spirit, our comforter in truth, bridges the gap on our behalf. Sent to live inside us forever (John 14:16) God's Spirit is our constant companion. Never lost or alone, the Holy Spirit in fact grants us a closer walk with our Father in heaven, even amidst great pain.

If great pain or loss has left you speechless today, take comfort. God hears the groaning of your heart. The Holy Spirit is translating and pleading on your behalf. You are in the presence of God. He hears and understands your pain and seeks to heal your every hurt. Trust and know that God is with you and that He will never abandon you. His Spirit lives inside you bringing peace that passes all understanding.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.

I do not give to you as the world gives.

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14:27

Baptism in a Flash

SETTING: Nancy and Dani arrive home to see Jimmy and dogs had opened the pool moments before.

CONVERSATION: As Nancy walks along the back side of the pool (5 month old Cocoa Bean in tow) she says, "It's only a matter of time before Cocoa falls in. He's used to running all around the back yard, especially across the pool tarp. He has no idea he can't walk on the water."

APPROXIMATELY 4-6 SECONDS LATER: Cocoa drops into the water and begins to swim for the first time in his life. Amazingly enough he begins to turn and swim toward the stairs but winds up swimming to the wall by the stairs instead. Running to the other side of the pool I throwing my purse aside and bend over to guide him toward the stairs. Jimmy decides to help as well and leans over along side me nearly toppling me in with Mr. Bean. When all was said and done my hair and my sun glasses were drenched with toad-green water. Thankfully Beano made it out no worse for the wear. Baptism complete!

Welcome to your first spring Cocoa Bean!