John 21, Part II, Our Eyes on Him

Home Study Notes

Healing

The following is an excerpt from my book, Freedom, Healing for Parents of Disabled Children. It is part of Barbara Boucher's blog carnival on "Healing." As a gifted Christian who is an Occupational Therapist with a PhD in philosophy, she has a special love for children with special needs and their parents. As a result, God is using her mightily. I am happy to participate in her carnival as I have learned first hand that God seeks to heal in all situations. He just does not heal the way we expect Him to sometimes. 

Chapter Eight

"It was a beautiful day. The air was cool as the sun glistened through the orange and red leaves of the trees. The humidity had lifted, there wasn’t a hint of rain in the air, and puffy white clouds hung weightlessly in the sky. On the outside, it couldn’t have been a more striking day, but on the inside a tempest was brewing deep within my heart.  

It had only been three years, but caring for Dani and her disabilities felt as if it had gone on forever. Feelings of anger, frustration and futility were beginning to surface, bringing with them a mighty storm. I hadn’t volunteered to be the mother of a disabled child, I couldn’t seem to get used to it, and it was beginning to take its toll on me. Something had to be done, so I did what I had to do; I called a meeting with God. It was time to put all the cards on the table and tell Him exactly what I thought, which is precisely what I did.  

I’d just arrived home after taking Dani to school when suddenly, as if out of the blue, I had enough. Talk about being honest with God. This session with Him either earned me a gold medal or knocked a few jewels out of my heavenly crown. To this day, I don’t know what triggered the episode. I only know I was smack dab in the middle of the living room when the storm hit. It was one of those rare times, spiritually speaking, in which I took off the gloves and got completely honest with God. In the past, I had more or less kept a distance between God and me, labeling it as respect and honor for Him. The problem was, I never got close enough to Him to have a good one-on-one talk. This day, however, was different. I laid it all out: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Every emotion I had kept inside was desperately poured out before Him as never before. Nothing was held back. 

I started by telling Him how tired I was with Dani’s lack of progress. Then I reminded Him of how many times I had begged Him to heal her, while He remained seemingly distant and uncaring. If that wasn’t enough, I went on to point out the fact that our cat gave me more attention than my own daughter, and I was sick and tired of not knowing how to help my own child. In ten minutes, I had successfully unloaded every grievance that had taken residence in my heart. The storm had hit, and to my amazement, I was still standing. Honesty with God hadn’t been so bad after all. In fact, it felt rather good.

Determined to weather it out to the end, I pronounced my closing statement. With tears in my eyes and a bony finger pointing toward the heavens, I shouted my biggest grievance of all… “Why won’t you heal her?” I didn’t expect a response from Him at all, let alone one that very moment. For years I had wondered why God hadn’t healed her, but never heard a response. Today was different, however. Conditions were ideal for me to hear Him speak, and He did. Calling me by name, He said, “Nancy, I won’t heal her for two reasons. First of all, you want her healed for you. You don’t want her healed so much for her sake as you want it for you. You want out. Second, I can do more through not healing her than if I do.”

That was it. God had spoken and His answer was clear. I didn’t hear what I wanted to hear, but the truth was remarkably refreshing, so much so I’ve never again questioned Him on this issue of healing. His words made such an impact on my heart that I continue to ponder them to this very day. Like a child in need of a good dose of discipline, I had never before considered the fact that my longing for her to be healed was rooted in my own selfish desires. Had any human on earth uttered these words to me I would have pursed my lips, furrowed my brows, and stomped out of the room. But hearing it from God Himself was an entirely different story. Yes, I loved my daughter very much and wanted only the best for her, but my request had become one that was more for me than for her. God knew it and loved me enough to address it up-front.

The selfishness of focusing on what I wanted had inflicted upon me a severe case of tunnel vision. I never considered that God would want anything other than what I wanted; His decision whether to heal her or not was never in question. He was going to heal her; I was convinced.

This notion, however, that God could do more through not healing her, now that was a new one. It boggled my mind, prompting me to think outside the box. For the first time in years, I began to realize that God was not only in control, but fully aware of our situation and had a specific plan for our family, one far greater than anything I could ever conceive on my own. New hope was born again and it did not involve healing." 

Read Chapter One of Freedom.

The Proof is in the Pocket

Before the washer and dryer

After...

Dani's shorts.

Proof she pilfered from my chocolate drawer!

The rest of the wash was untouched.

Thank you Lord!

A woMan's Man

My husband, Jimmy, is a manly kind of man. He loves to tinker in the garage, fix things around the house, and learn new manish kinds of skills. But I'm convinced even the most masculine of men will do things he's never dreamed of once married. Sunday morning was a perfect example. 

While getting dressed for church I peered down to see my big toe's french manicure had a chip. It wasn't the end of the world but it bugged me, so Jimmy took the white nail polish and filled in the gap. I was impressed.

Then, on the way to church, my vision began to feel weird. I wear mono-vision contacts, which allows one eye to see far and the other close up eliminating the need for reading glasses. (It enables me to read the price tag of things I shouldn't be buying in the first place. It's a wonderful thing.) After a quick hand over each eye check, I realized I'd put my contacts in the wrong eye. Coming to my aid again, Jimmy held out a cupped hand for me to pour saline. Placing my left contact in his make-shift bowl, I moved my contacts about till the world felt good again. We arrived at church no worse for the wear. 

What would I do without my manly man?

"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" Ecclesiastes 4:10

John 21, Part I, His Eyes on Us

Home Study Notes (Click Here)

A Miracle of Prayer

On July 17th you all began praying for my friend Judy who is in the end stages of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Her white blood cell count was threateningly low and her doctors were on the verge of putting her on last resort medications that are very harmful to the body.  Many of you began to faithfully lift Judy to the throne of God and I am happy to tell you He has heard and responded to each of your prayers!

Judy's lab result was astounding.  Her white blood cell count was a fabulous 5.4, the highest it's been in nine years!  Clearly God moves in profound ways when His children call upon His holy name. Thank you for praying for Judy and please continue to pray for her and her dear family. After church we took this picture to celebrate the occasion.

"Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; 

make known among the nations what he has done."

Psalm 105:1

Clownin' Around

Yesterday our church, Abundant Life Baptist,  had its annual complimentary carnival. Everyone from all around is invited to come and all the food, games, and rides are completely free of charge. It's a wonderful outreach program and the turn out yesterday was by far the biggest we've ever had.

Jimmy spent the day photographing the event, so Dani and I mingled about on our own. When we arrived we found Jimmy at a booth taking pictures of kids with the clowns. Dani almost never smiles for a picture, but smiling wasn't a problem when she saw the clowns. Their colorful outfits made her day. (See more pictures at Jimmy's blog.)

Who says Christians don't have fun!

A Day with My Two Guys

Jimmy is on vacation this week and flashing pictures right and left. He came along with me Wednesday to take my dad home from Bible study and run errands. After taking some pictures of dad at church, we went to Wal Mart, ate lunch at Wendy's, and enjoyed a little photo shoot at his home. 

I forgot to ask dad 

if he deliberately wore pants to match the sky.

Grandpa and Dani on the swing.

Dani's left shoe is somewhere in the shadows.

This is my brother's dog Cooper. 

His eyes are locked on his mama who was driving up to the house.

He abandoned the scene seconds after this shot.

For more pictures of our day see Jimmy's Blog     

Where Were You When the Lights Went ON?

Last Christmas we hung white lights on our deck and soon discovered we not only loved the look but the function as well. We were potty training Ecclesiastes at the time and it was a tremendous help to be able to see at 3am. Eventually the lights burned out, the summer gave us more daylight hours, and potty training was complete.

But things have shifted. With fall approaching and the sun going down earlier each evening, Ecclesi was beginning to have trouble maneuvering around. Ducking and dodging at shadows from the porch light, it was clear he needed a little help. So off to the store we went to purchase more lights and...whala...we're ready for winter.

We had a blast decorating the deck at night!

Disappointment

Home Study Notes (Click Here)

A Sad September 11

Jimmy and I had the sad occasion to photograph our friends' infant who died in the womb just weeks before the due date.  We were requested by the family to come and it was our gift to help them remember their precious little girl. It was a heart wrenching experience Jimmy wrote about in his photography blog.  

Please pray for this family.  They know the Lord but are amidst great grief.  The funeral is Monday and Jimmy's work will be on display to honor little Emersyn.

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. 

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 

he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." 

Psalm 23:1-6

R & R Giveaway!

If you are interested in a giveaway, and who isn't, Cheryl at Cheryl's R & R is giving away a $25 gift card to Barnes & Noble (yum) and your choice of two devotional books (yummy yum yum.) 

The giveaway lasts until October 1st, so hurry on over and pay her a visit! She's a wonderful Christian writer.  You'll be blessed. (Look for her September 7th post.)

Gathering Daisies

God's gifts abound and He's given us much to enjoy in these golden daisies that grow on the bank of the creek behind our home. Dani had a nice time cutting a few.

Like many Autistics Dani rarely looks (or smiles) directly at the camera,

but she was having a good time.

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"Followers" and a Poll

I just noticed on my blog dashboard that I had "4 Followers." This was something I'd never seen before and naturally wondered who they were. I was pleasantly surprised to see they are some of my favorite bloggers, so I added the gadget, widget or whatever you call it to this page and lo and behold their cute little icons appeared above my picture.  Now, how quaint is that?

So, here's an invitation to all my favorite bloggers. If you'd like to join the crowd just click "FOLLOW THIS BLOG" and make my day. These little icons are not only a great advertisement for your blog, since they link directly to your page, but they make it oodles easier for me to make my rounds to your blogs. This is almost as good as sliced bread!

OLM Poll - If you are a follower that watches OLM's weekly video devotions, please take our poll just below the "Followers" list.  We are here to serve you and value your opinion.

Silence is Golden

Home Study Notes (Click Here)

Sad End to Summer

We closed the pool and Ecclesiastes is a little sad.

Another Award

I recieved this award from Dr. Barbara Boucher, a highly gifted OT and PT therapist. Thank you Barbara!

Here are the rules:
1. Mention the blog that gave it to you.
2. Publish these rules.
3. Share six values that are important to you and six things you do not support.
4. Grant the prize to six people.

What I value: 

1. The Triune God
2. The Holy Scripture
3. Family
4. Human Rights
   
5. Others Opinions
6. Chocolate!

What I do not support:

1. Violence
2. Disrespect
3. Oppression
4. Cheating
5. Mockery
6. Laziness

I pass this award on to:

The Olson's

Melanie

Linda

Truth4thejourney

TammyR

Francine

Scary Photo Shoot

When I was a little girl we had a train track behind our home. Our backyard was spacious, quiet and private, except for the occasional freight train that thundered by on route to who knows where. 

I loved having a train in my back yard. We would swing on the swing while trying to count the number of train cars and then walk the tracks to see what we could find along the long desolate path. Mom told us to never walk on the tracks because trains could "sneak up" on us if we weren't paying attention. I thought this was an old wives' tale and did it anyway...until one day it happened. I'll never forget the chill of hearing the engine's horn and turning around to see that huge monster hot on our heels!

Jimmy knows I don't like to piddle around train tracks. We did a photo shoot on the tracks once before, but I was too tense for either of us to enjoy it. During the Labor Day holiday, however, he wanted to try it again.  With two tripods, Dani, and Ecclesiastes in tow, I teetered on the rails and tried to have fun for the camera, while checking each direction every 20 seconds or so. 

Then it happened. Moments after these pictures were taken I did my bi-directional safety check and low behold rounding the bend was a humongous train.  Over its blaring horn I yelled, "There's a train! Get off the traaacks!" Frantically we ripped the tripods, child, and dog off the tracks and huddled together in a ball just 10 feet from the train as the wind current blew us to bits. Ecclesiastes was scared to death, so I covered his ears while Jimmy held him still.  Needless to say we survived, but I will never be talked into piddling on railroad tracks again.

It's good to be alive!

Bloop! Bloop!